Don't Want To Be Without You
by TotallyKayla
Summary: Bella is sick of the way Edward's been treating her, and decides to leave. Edward loses the only girl he's ever loved. Can he win her back?
1. Don't Want To Be Without You

I turned off my car and sat, watching her. I sat there on hand on the steering wheel the other on my chin. My knuckles that were scabbed resting just above my lip and my thumb under my chin. My grip tightened on the steering wheel. I rubbed my upper lip think of how bad I fucked everything up between us.

I flashed back to the last time we spoke as I took another drag of my cigarette.

"_I'm sick of this shit Edward!" she yelled at me._

_My temper was rising be each minuet we fought. "You're sick of this shit?" I growled at her. _

"_YES! You're out late every night, you come home drunk, and we never spend any time together! I don't care about the money, the presents, or the nice jewelry you buy me. You think throwing all of that crap in my face will make everything better? I'm not one of your gold-digging whores Edward! You've become a totally jackass lately and I'm fucking sick of it."_

_My anger flew off the end, how fucking dare she say that to me!. I grabbed her and slammed her up against the wall. "I fucking do everything for you. And you fucking think you can call me a bad boyfriend, how fucking dare you. You ungrateful little bitch!" I spat at her. I felt her hands on my chest trying to push me off. She pushed her hardest and it made me step back. She got her one arm free from my grip and smacked me across the face._

_It took me by surprise and it made me step back again and let her go. My head whipped to the side and I stood there as pain shot across my face. I placed my hand on my cheek. My eyes wide at first but than they narrowed as I turned my head slowly toward her again._

"I fucking hate you! You're the biggest mistake of my life. I NEVER WANT TO FUCKING SEE YOU AGAIN YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" she yelled running out of my apartment. I chased after her but she had already taken off in her car.

"_FUUUUUCK!" I screamed, gripping my hair and whipping my hands down. I stormed back inside and lost it. I threw stuff. I clenched my fist and threw it at the wall. It went right through. I pulled it out than hit it again, and again._

_I pulled my cut and swollen fist from the wall and slammed my back into sliding down. Tears of anger and hurt streaming down my cheeks. Her words running through my mind. I knew I would never get her back after this._

I opened the door and slammed it shut. I walked across the street threw my cigarette down and up her front yard to her door. I stood there and took a deep breath. I knocked on the door. with my left hand and waited. I could've sworn my heart was going to jump out of my chest. It'd been over three weeks since I'd seen her last. I looked back thinking of what I was going to say. I put my hands in my back pockets. I couldn't stop fidgeting. I took a quick inhale and knocked again, louder and harder

"One Sec!" I heard her call. My eyes widened slightly. It was the first time I'd heard her voice in person since the fight. I'd only been able to hear her voice from her voice mail. I had to of called her eighteen times. I wanted to apologize and get her back. But after a few days she changed her number. I had to get her back though, no matter what it would take. I would have my baby girl back in my arms. And if she came back to me I would never take her for granted again and never let her go.

I just wanted her back, I wanted things back the way they were. I missed her more than I'd ever imagine. I missed her smile, I missed the way she'd wrap her arms around me. How she traced my tattoos when we sat, cuddling. I wasn't going to throw this all away because my ex doesn't know personal space. I would not lose my Bella, I couldn't. I'd do whatever it'd take to get her to forgive me.

I looked down lost in my thoughts. But than I heard the door open. My head shot up and our eyes locked. Her beautiful eyes that I'd fallen in love with were wide, but the quickly narrowed and her mouth turned into a hard line.

"Bella…" I tried to say. She slammed the door in my face. I banged on the door

"baby please! Let me in, we need to talk!" I yelled pounding on the door. I could tell she was still right by the door.

"I TOLD YOU I NEVER WANTED TO FUCKING SEE YOU AGAIN EDWARD! NOW LEAVE!" she snapped, slamming the door from the other side.

"I'M NOT LEAVING, NOW OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR! PLEASE BABY!" I hissed and pleaded.

"I'm not your baby anymore! Now go away you cheating asshole!" she yelled back at me.

My eyes widened and my anger grew "I never fucking cheated on you!, Bella open the door please, we need to talk about this!" I growled at her through the door.

"NO!, I told you Edward, I'm done. We're done talking!" she hissed.

I kept my hands on the door and put my forehead against it "Bella, we're not done, I'm not losing you!" I said. I closed my eyes trying to keep my anger down but it didn't work "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" I screamed slamming it.

I took a deep breath "please baby, I don't want to lose you, I'll do anything please!" I begged.

"It's too late Edward!, just leave me alone. I don't want anything to do with you anymore!" she snapped.

I closed my eyes tight again and pushed from the door "FUCK!" I yelled storming down the steps. I froze in her lawn and looked back to her apartment. I wasn't losing her, no fucking way.

I ran to the back of her apartment, praying she left a window open. I got to the back "yes!" I said. I pushed the window open more and boosted myself up and went through the window. I'm pretty sure this was breaking and entering but I didn't care. She needs to know.

I walked through her kitchen to hear her crying. I walked to her front hall to see her against the door crying. Her knees to her chest, her arms over her knees and her head buried into her arms. I walked over to her. She must have heard my shoes because her head shot up and her eyes locked to mine. Her blood shot eyes widened and he mouth gaped open.

She slowly moved her arms from her knees. I walked over to her and bent down on one knee in front of her. She was so shocked I could tell she didn't know what to do.

"I know you never want to see me again… but I won't be able to live knowing that you hate me… Ever single night I've cried myself to sleep, knowing that I lost the only thing I've ever fucking cared about more than anything. I know you want us to end. But-But I don't want to. Bella I'll do anything to prove to you that I'm sorry and that I'll change… I'll leave everything if it means not losing you. The job, the guys, anything." I said. Her eyes were still wide and she looked at me as if I had three heads or something.

"I'm begging you… please baby, I don't want to lose you. Every day I've spent without you it's felt like all I've seen is darkness and all I've felt is pain, and that's all I know now that you're gone!… and-and what you said to me…t-that you hate me…and-and that I'm your biggest mistake ever…I-I I just…. I just won't be able to make it through knowing you feel that way towards me" I said. I grabbed her hands and she gasped slightly. I leaned closer to her

"I'm so sorry for what I did, I was drunk and I was mad at you. I acted out of anger. I wanted to hurt you… This is all my fault and if I would take it back I would, but I can't… I fucked up, badly… I love you so much and it's killing me knowing you hate me and knowing that I lost you" I swallowed hard, fighting bad tears. "Even…even if you don't want to get back together… it's going to hurt but I can't lose you. Even if we're just friends. I don't… No I won't lose you. I need you Bella… even if it's not as mine… even though I want you to be mine again, desperately…"

"I know it's going to take some time because you and I are both hurt. But I'll prove to you that I'll never let you go… Like I said…even-even if you don't want me back, which I would understand because I treated you horribly…But I want you back. I'm begging you, please just give me another chance. I can't bear to lose you again… please Bella if you ever loved me, you'll give me another chance…Like I said I'll give all my time to you and only you.. and I know I'm jumping all around, but I've been so fucked up since you left "

We just started at each other. My heart was beating a 1000mph, she was just staring at me, I couldn't read her, I didn't know what she was thinking.

She swallowed hard. I slowly lifted my hand from her and wiped her tears.

"You'd do that for me?…" she asked, almost in a whisper. I nodded "I'd give it all up for you…" I said. She slowly lifted her hand and placed it over mine. It sent shiver down my spine, It'd felt like forever since I felt her touch. She put one of her knees down and pushed herself forwards. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I gasped. My eyes widened, and I wrapped my arms around her. I held her tight. I took a deep breath inhaling her scent that I'd missed so much.

I closed my eyes tight and held her tighter and tighter. She was on her knees and I lifted from her. Staring into her eyes that always hypnotized me. I wiped her tears again and put my forehead on hers. I placed my hand on her neck, and rubbed it with my thumb."I've missed you so much, I'm so sorry for what I did… could you ever forgive me?" I asked. I was horrified to hear the answer.

"I-It'll take awhile…but yes I can" she said. My mouth gaped open but than a smile came across my face. She'd forgiven me, I felt like I could start to see the light that had left me when she did.

Bella cupped my cheek and I turned my face into her palm kissing it. I missed the feel of he skin on my lips. I wanted to kiss her, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. I placed a hand on her arm and she was freezing. "You're freezing babe…" I said, taking off my jacket putting it around her. I put it around her shoulders and lightly dragged my hands down her arms.

"Can I hug you again?" she asked. I smiled at her "you never have to ask to hug me my beautiful girl…" I told her. I pushed myself up and brought her along with me. I didn't want any space between us. We'd had enough space between us.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and I wrapped mine around her waist. One arm stayed around her waist and the other rested on her back. "I don't want you to quit your job. It means so much to you and you've worked way too hard to get to where you are. And I don't want to take that away from you" she said on my neck. Her voice vibrated against my skin. I inhaled sharply. It'd been almost a month since I felt her skin against mine. "But I'd give it all up for you…" I whispered into her ear.

She lifted from me. I was caught off guard by her lips pressing against mine. My eyes widen but I shut them quickly, leaning into the kiss I so desperately missed. I moved my arms, pulling her closer into me. I inhaled sharply, indulging in the moment. I knew I shouldn't but I want so much more of her. I craved her.

I put my hand on her cheek and traced her bottom lips with my thumb. I pulled it down slightly opening her lower lip allowing my tongue to enter her mouth. I kissed her slowly and passionately. I wanted this moment to last I wanted to drink in all of her.

She ran her hands down my chest, and it made me slightly shiver. I craved her touch,_ I craved her._

I felt her hands go up my shirt. He hands were cold against my hot torso. I broke from the kiss, staring deeply into her eyes, placing a hand on her cheek. "Edward?…" she asked. "Yes my love?, what is it?" I asked, stroking her cheek with my thumb. She looked me deeply in the eyes "make love to me?…" she asked.

I gasped at the question and my eyes widened. "A-are you sure?… I don't want to rush things, I don't want to lose you again" I told her. She nodded "please, I've missed you so much… I need you Edward… I was such an idiot to let you go…" she said looking down. I lifted her chin, kissing her deeply and passionately. I felt lust and passion start to stir in my stomach. I felt her lift my shirt. I broke from the kiss and ripped it off. I ran my hand down her side, "is that what you want?" I asked her, in a low husky voice. Her eyes softened and her mouth slightly opened "yes Edward…" she said, almost in a gasp.

She smiled at me, reassuring me. Oh how I missed her smile and the way her eyes sparked when she did. "Okay my beautiful girl, I'll make love to you" I said, kissing her again. Things started to heat up quick. I pushed my jacket off her shoulders and lifted her shirt over her head and threw it. She grabbed my cheeks kissing me again. I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around me. My skin burning again hers. I grabbed her butt pushing her more up on me. I pushed her into the wall. I broke from the kiss, kissing down her neck and chest.

"Are you mine again?…" I asked against her skin. "Yes Edward" she said moaning. Hearing her moan my name sent to lust through my body. I growled against her skin "damn right you are, I'll never lose you again" I growled, kissing her neck again, sucking and biting. I left love bites all over her neck and chest.

I pushed away from the wall and brought her to her bedroom. I laid her down on the, wasting no time at her sweats. I ripped them off seeing she wasn't wearing under wear. I broke from the kiss and started to kiss down he neck, her chest, her chest down to her stomach. I kissed her waist line and it made her shot up. "Edward no please, I need you" she gasped. I looked up at her and crawled back up to her, "and you will, but right now I'm going to please you, as if you've never experienced me before" I said.

I went back down and started to kiss her inner thigh. Getting closer and closer to her entrance. I felt her body tensed and I heard her gasping. I put my arm around her leg kissing and sucking. "No one else had touched you…right?" I growled. "N-No Edward" she gasped "No ones touched me but you" she gasped again. I smirked "good, no one touches my girl" I said. I started to lick her entrance. " I almost for got how sweet you taste, my precious girl" I said into her. I started to lick faster and her legs tightened around my head. I've fucking missed this. I missed her taste. Her moans. Her gasps. I've missed her.

She started to moan louder and it made me lick and suck faster. She started to get away from me. Oh fuck no, she wasn't escaping me. I put my arms under her thighs and locked my fingers together on her stomach, causing her to be more pushed on me. "Ed-Ed- Edddd- EDWARD, Edward I'm-" She moaned. I looked up at her "go on, I'll lick you clean" I growled into her. I started to lick and suck again. I felt her back arch and I looked back up at her. She gripped my hair and started to squirm. I heard her breaths become shorter and rapid. "Oh- oh my god, Edward!" she moaned. She arched her back more and I felt her come. "That my good girl" I said, licking her clean.

I started to kiss back up her stomach leaving little love bites on my way up. My lips met hers again. I felt her grab my belt and start to pull at it. I lifted from her pulling my pants and boxer briefs down. I threw them across the room and leaned back on to her. I was already as hard as a rock, hearing her moan and tasting her again had almost sent me over the edge. I looked her deeply in the eyes "I've missed you so much…" I said, running my hand down her body. She gripped the back of my hair "I've missed you too Edward, I don't know how I've managed without you" she said. My hear melted, because I knew she knew the pain that I went through when we were apart.

"Are you ready my love?" I asked. She nodded "yes Edward" she gasped. I eased into her. Holy fuck was she ever tight. But this is how I knew no one touched my girl. My body tensed as I pushed the rest of my length into her. I watched her as I inserted myself into her. "Fuck Bella…Y-You're so tight…I won't be able to last long…" I said, through my teeth. I felt her nails slightly dig into my back. I knew they would go a lot deeper soon. "Neither will I" she said. I leaned down kissing her and started to pump.

She felt so fucking good. I started to go faster and she broke from the kiss moaning. I lifted to my palms watching her as I thrusted in and out of her. Her nails started to drag down my back. "Ouhh fuccckk…" I moaned, biting my lip. I dropped to my forearms and hooked my hands under her shoulders. Pulling her closer to me. I kissed her hard but she broke it gasping for air. I rested my head on her shoulder, sucking.

She was moaning right in my ear. I couldn't take it much more. "Ah, fucckk, Ugh" I groaned. "Edward, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum!" she moaned. I went to tell her she could but her throbbing walls tighten around me. It sent me over the edge and my body tensed and I gripped her hip.

I collapsed on top of her, kissing her. I lightly rolled off of her holding her in my arms. As we started to catch our breath, she looked up at me. I looked down at her and kissed her on the forehead.

"Edward…" she said.

"Yes my love?" I asked.

"I don't hate you… I never could, I love you too much…And you're the best thing to happen to me, not the worst. I'm so sorry I said those things. I could never mean them" she said

I lifted her chin and kissed her gently "I'm sorry too, if it's anything to her, I told Tanya to stay away from me" I said.

She placed her hand on my chest "really?" she asked. I nodded. She lifted and kissed my nose than went back down and rested her head on my chest. It didn't take long for us to fall asleep in each other's arms.

_**First fanfic. (: **_

_**Please review and leave your comments on the story! I started writing this for another fandom, but decided to make this a Bella/Edward story. **_


	2. Author's Note

If you enjoyed this story, you may also enjoy the other passionate Bella/Edward stories on my profile ;)


End file.
